theharperproject


The Acne Chronicles – Part 1 – Background, Make-Up and Confidence
January 6, 2013, 11:30 am
Filed under: The Acne Chronicles | Tags: , , , , , ,

acne

Ugh another bump!!?!!

That’s what I usually whine to myself in the mirror at least once a week. Acne has been a major issue in my life since about the 3rd grade. Starting with little bumps on my chin, then spreading to my forehead, then in junior high accumulating on my cheeks. Until high school, when my face resembled a big greasy beef pizza.

Despite my hate for acne now at 18 years old, I can look back and see how these little annoying bumps on my face have help grow me as a person. Around junior high when my acne began to really take over my face, the joyous wonder that is public school sent me even more issues to face.

Bullies, I was never a victim to any physical bullying but I defiantly shed more than a couple of tears walking home from school some days. “You shouldn’t care about what other people say to you” my mom would always preach but it hurts when you get laughed at in front of a crowd of people, when someone points out how oily your skin is or that you have a few bumps on your face. All of the teasing really made me look at myself as lower than other people, just because I have acne. It was a really big blow to my confidence.

So one day I decided to cover up all my problems with makeup. Being a 14 year old, African American boy at a mostly minority school in Texas and wearing makeup is not a good formula but I could hardly look at myself in the mirror without crying. So every morning I would dab little foundation on, to cover up the spots that would appear after a pimple would go away.
Makeup healed about 50% of the problem. The good that resulted was, I could put some on and walk out the house and know that when people look at me, they weren’t looking at me because I had blackheads or oily skin. But the bad was that I was so self-conscious, yeah they weren’t looking at me because of my acne but were they looking at me because I was wearing makeup. “If someone found out I would never be able to live this down” I always thought. So I remained pretty much how I was before I wore make-up, quiet and in the background because I never wanted too many eyes on me.

I wore makeup until about the middle of my sophomore year in high school when in the middle of band class a classmate turned to me and asked me the question I had been dreading for years. “Are you wearing makeup?” she asked.

My heart sunk “No!” I said. I quickly tilted my head down and fixed my eyes on my shoes.
The girl didn’t argue my answer, she just went back to playing her instrument but I was a wreck. My stomach was doing kart wheels, my head was throbbing and I was sweating furiously. Trying so hard to hold back tears.

When the bell rang for lunch, I jolted out of the band hall to the nearest bathroom, shut myself in a stall. Bundled up a handful of the one ply bathroom toilet paper and began to viciously wipe my face.

I cried all through lunch in the bathroom, dreading to see anyone. But I knew I had to go to my last two classes.
The rest of the day went okay I was still very shaken up.

When I got home I decided I couldn’t cover up my problems anymore with makeup, I hated wearing it anyways and I was determined to clear up my skin. So I looked up acne and black head remedies and tried all of them, yes all of them.

A few worked and a lot didn’t but the best result was that I got to know my skin. And now as a senior in high school I can look back and say I learned a lot from my bad bad acne days.
The most important lesson was that life is too short to spend your life unhappy at someone else’s expensive. Words hurt, very badly sometimes but I love myself way too much to let what someone says about something I can’t even really control break me down.

Yeah I still have blackheads,zits,pimples,marks,bumps, but they’re not me and whatever is on my face won’t control my confidence level.

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In the Acne Chronicles series, I plan on sharing some of my experiences with facial products, home remedies, dermatologist etc. I also have a few more acne stories I’m excited to share as well.
I hope all of you  enjoyed this post and I’m very interested in hearing your experiences with acne and acne products so please feel free to share your stories below in the comment section.

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